Dear Mrs Lupin
by XGlamorousxGlueX
Summary: Sirius writes to Mrs. Lupin because he's a snitch. pre-slash. R/S
1. Chapter 1

I had nothing to do this morning and figured the best thing to do on a Saturday morning while wearing my pajamas was to practice my R/S fic writing skills. Apparently, I had it in the first place :)

**Dear Mrs. Lupin**

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Dear Mrs. Lupin,

Please do not be alarmed but I must inform you about your son.

First of all, I would like to say that I still think you are a lovely, beautiful woman whom I never tire of looking at. Despite everything your son is doing to me, I would never take it out on you.

You see, your son is quite an evil bastard (please excuse my language from this point on). There have been incidents in recent months where I ask myself why I am even friends with him. Fortunately, I have slacked off in enough classes to compile a list of the things that I absolutely _HATE _about your son, Remus Lupin.

1)_ Quill Biting_- This is the reason why I cannot concentrate in class. Granted, I never concentrate in class but this is so annoying that I consider it to be the reason I forget to take notes. Not even my love and affection for Professor McGonagall can pull me away from staring at your son as he nibbles on the end of his quill as if he hadn't eaten an entire plate of sausages for breakfast that morning. Not only that, he always turns to look at me and smiles as his perfectly white teeth murder the poor quill in his mouth. I suggest some kind of intense Quill Biting therapy to end this horrid habit.

2) _Reading Books Under Trees_- As if Hogwarts didn't have a library filled with chairs to be sat (or shagged) on, your son chooses to sit outside, under a tree by the lake to read books and finish his homework. While other people may consider this charming and romantic, I think it's stupid. The sun make his hair look an odd shade of blond, a shade that I think makes him look a lot more pale than he already is. His hair is always mussed and he's already asked me to pluck leaves and twigs out of his hair more times than I can count. The worst is when he has a sunburn over his nose and cheeks because the idiot forgot to sit under the shade. It's not a lovely sight, trust me.

3) I'm sorry to inform you that your son is an idiot.

4) _Odd Sleeping_ _Habits_- It is common knowledge that our beds are next to each other. That, however, is something I wish to change. Your son likes to move around on his bed as if something has crawled into his pants and for once, that was not innuendo. He is incapable of waking up like a normal person; quiet and grumpy. Your son wakes up at six o'clock every morning, stretches out on the bed and then makes this horrible moaning sound as he smiles sleepily at me. It's truly the most unnerving sight I have seen.

5) _Ghastly Table Manners_- This. This is the most disgusting and terrible thing my beautiful eyes have ever seen. Let me describe it for you, Mrs. Lupin. One night during dinner, while I was happily eating, I looked up to see if my friends were enjoying their meal (I'm lying. I wanted to see what kind of side dish Lily Evans would fling at James. This time, they were peas). It just so happened that Remus was sitting in my line of sight when he slowly began to lick the pudding off his spoon. Wait! That isn't all! He then proceeded to lick his fingers, one by one and when he noticed that I was watching, he smiled. He smiled around the finger that was still in his mouth and I was completely disgusted. So disgusted that I had to excuse myself to calm my frantically beating heart until dinner was over.

6) Your son is evil.

7) Your son also likes to look directly into my eyes when he speaks and I always have difficulty looking away. Is there some kind of spell he uses to achieve this?

8) And sometimes he smirks at me and that is the reason why I failed my project during potions last week. I except him to make up for this as soon as possible.

I don't want to alarm you or make you think that your son is some kind of strange being. But he's an evil and sometimes furry bastard.

_Waiting To See Your Beautiful Face Again_,

Sirius Black

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_Who wants Mrs. Lupin's reply? :)_

_R/R  
_


	2. Chapter 2 My Dear Sirius

Mrs. Lupin replies! Sorry for taking ages but I was working on a rather and hopefully lovely surprise :D

**My Dear Sirius**

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My Dear Sirius,

I'm very glad you took the time out of your highly busy schedule at school and friends to write me a lovely letter. I must say I was surprised at how distressed you sounded and desperately wanted to bring you home for sweets and a chat. Mr. Lupin, unfortunately, said that you needed to stay at school and avoid having you beg me to let you take his place (he still hasn't forgiven you for that comment despite me telling him you were only joking).

I was quite shocked to learn about my son's _appalling _behavior. Surely you have suffered so much from his distracting mannerisms and seemingly uncaring behavior as to whether or not you blow up a cauldron (I do hope your hair was left in it's state of perfection after).

However, this is something I believe I can help you with. You see, I went through the same thing when I was your age. I know what's it's like to feel absolutely helpless as you watch how the person you love walks around, reads books, or just simply looks at you.

Yes, I said the person you love. You love my son, Sirius, and I only hope you come to the realization in a calm and dignified manner. The boy that tortured me with his smiles and shy glances is the man I married, the father of my son. He was the boy who walked while reading a book and somehow managed to avoid crashing into poor little first years on his way to class. That was until one day, he bumped into me. I stood there frozen on the spot because John Lupin never bumped into anyone while walking to class and yet he crashed into me! It's strange and I usually cannot describe it without blushing and giggling like an idiot but that's when I knew he had noticed me as well. From there on, he spoke to me, made me laugh at very unfortunate moments and was the reason I received my first and only detention for laughing during a Divination lecture.

Sirius, do not be afraid and welcome the warm flutter of emotion in your stomach when you see Remus. You and I know that my son needs to feel happy, truly happy and the best way is if you tell him how you feel. It may seem strange that I'm telling you this, considering that I'm his mother and mothers shouldn't be setting up their sons with their mad best friends but I've seen the way Remus looks at you and it's the same way I look at his father. I do beg for you to think about this. This isn't a game, Sirius. Not only is Remus' heart on the line but also yours. Everything will change and it will be frightening but love is a powerful force, Sirius. Love truly does conquer all and please know that I will always love you no matter what happens.

I am obligated to make reference to the shagging in the library. Honestly? Sirius, I didn't think the rumors about your promiscuous behavior were true but apparently they are! You shall not, under any circumstance take advantage of my son in a library! Not only is my son much too good for that but think of the books, Sirius. _Think of the books!_ I have eyes at Hogwarts, love, don't think I don't know what you do in hidden alcoves and empty classrooms. Speaking of classrooms, I suggest abandoned classrooms after midnight on the sixth floor for a snog. They're clean, they were hardly ever used in my time. Oh Merlin, did I just tell where you and my son can snog? It's time for me to stop this letter, I believe.

Send Remus my love and please tell Peter he left his socks here and that I will owl them as soon as possible. Also, if I receive any new information about how you and James were thrown into another week long detention, I will make both of you clean the attic without magic next time you visit. I still love you boys!

Forever Rejecting Your Advances,

Mrs. Lupin

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**R/R?**


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